ZThemes

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

toomanyfandomssolittletime:

its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.

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wAIT WHAT

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mY SKIN IS WHITE???

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I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??

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cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!

dukeofnachos:

kurosaki224:

happyhaunter:

steve and bucky are startled by a levitating knife

It’s been ten minutes why am I still laughing

"the future is so scary"

tramampoline:

Favourite jokes

  • Referring to any four-legged animal as a weird dog
  • Massively underestimating the number of nearly uncountable objects
  • Massively overestimating the number of clearly countable objects
  • Bad puns in TV episode titles

* comparing all instruments to trumpets
* animal based puns
* bad puns anywhere
* puns

bewbin:

tsarbucks:

bewbin:

This fort will protect me from the haters

tumblr user bewbin is sexist AND CLASSIST. WOW. 

Ok but don’t come running to my fort when u catch cooties

bewbin:

tsarbucks:

bewbin:

This fort will protect me from the haters

tumblr user bewbin is sexist AND CLASSIST. WOW. 

Ok but don’t come running to my fort when u catch cooties

motherfuckinoedipus:

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?" "DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-""SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”

motherfuckinoedipus:

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?"
"DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"

"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"

"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"

"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-"

"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”

”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”

motherfuckinoedipus:

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?" "DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"
"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"
"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"
"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-""SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”
”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”

motherfuckinoedipus:

saxypone:

fuchsiamae:

dextronoms:

bitches-im-balin:

bigbigtruck:

krudman:

I love this

"you come here often?"
"DWARVEN CRAAAFTS"

"hey baby did it hurt when you fell from heaven-"

"FAVOR THE BOW, EH? I’M A SWORD MAN MYSELF"

"hey let me buy you a drin-"

"LET ME GUESS: SOMEONE STOLE YOUR SWEET ROLL?"

"hey gorgeous-"

"I LIKE SHORTS! THEY’RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR!"

"hey beauti-"

"SOMETIMES, I DREAM ABOUT CHEESE"

”are you an angel becau-”

”Talos the Mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give Praise! We are but maggots writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now walk among the stars! But you were once man! Aye! And as man you said, “Let me show you the power of Talos Stormcrown, born of the North, where my breath is long winter. I breathe now in royalty and reshape this land which is mine. I do this for you, Red Legions, for I love you.”  Aye, love! Love! Even as man, great Talos cherished us. For he saw in us, in each of us, the future of Skyrim! The future of Tamriel! And there it is, friends! The ugly truth! We are the children of man! Talos is the true god of man! Ascended from flesh, to rule the realm of spirit! The very idea is inconceivable to our Elven overlords! Sharing the heavens with us? With man? Ha! They can barely tolerate our presence on earth! Today, they take away your faith. But what of tomorrow? What then? Do the elves take your homes? Your businesses? Your children? Your very lives? And what does the Empire do? Nothing! Nay, worse than nothing! The Imperial machine enforces the will of the Thalmor! Against its own people! So rise up! Rise up, children of the Empire! Rise up, Stormcloaks! Embrace the word of mighty Talos, he who is both man and Divine! For we are the children of man! And we shall inherit the heavens and earth! And we, not the Elves or their toadies, will rule Skyrim! Forever!”

thirstfollower:

communistbakery:

thirstfollower:

I just got back from the dynamite factory

how was it

it was a blast

meenahpreshuspeixes:

What’s the difference between social justice on Tumblr and a bunch of conspiracy theorists?

No you don’t understand this isn’t even a joke. I really can’t tell the difference and it’s kind of scaring me.